you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
