there was a trapeze. enough said
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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