Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
