The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
