There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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