Well apparently he's into motor boating.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize