Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You're like the curious george of whores
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
