Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she looked like the before picture.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
