I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize