They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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