obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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