you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
