did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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