The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
