Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
