false alarm. still invincible.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
