I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
