That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just high enough for therapy.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
