Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize