you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i out mim tonsoeep
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
