bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
someone threw a dead crab at me
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
