My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
