So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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