Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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