I'm really into asian looking animals
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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