I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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