Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
