Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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