Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize