I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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