If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
