Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
