i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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