I love black thongs
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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