I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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