Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
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