i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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