please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
