4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize