i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
high people should be assigned attendants
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
