I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
