i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
