With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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