I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i just google imaged poop.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
