if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
