I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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