We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
