I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
