You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
