dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I know her cup size but not her name....
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