i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
