It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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