Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
