My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
