i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
