then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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