oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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