he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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