Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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