did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We just shotgunned beers for America
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
