we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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