Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
