why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
