scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Randomize
