come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
