why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
