I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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