you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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