it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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