who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize