; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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