Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
