in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Come on in and take your pants off
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