Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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