hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
