Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
