You're a womanizer and a bitch.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
