I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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